how wide how deep how great

how deep is your (L word) for me?
tell me, "what it is going to be?"
do you see yourself messing with a person like me?
on your own, or so all your friends are all going to see, now?
-a sisquo song

who can tell the difference between yesterday and today?

"keep your words nice and sweet in case you have to eat them."
-a queen i know


 

oh magnify the Lord with me

anger inside; the enemy LIEs.  what a scheme; when sitting next to a breakthrough. 

saying goodnight to ---

the runaround.
they think me, even me
deaf dumb crazy and stupid
trying 2 be just very very cool
when He knows the truth
they are wrong; two days behind and five caches short --
washing their hands of the matter
seeing the domesticated
seeing some perceived inefficacy
seeing not the big picture yet the small recent memory fragments
that man's world -
this hard examination
He also told me, don't you dare give up
speak up, hear down

nonstop

the "shutdown" option: useless.  a five year shutdown led to a single day solution.  a six year shutdown led to no solution at all.
the "wide open" option: as terminal as a few holes in the chest.  as bullet after bullet after searing bullet pierce through, you regret not having worn a bulletproof vest.
the "look elsewhere" option: exhausted.  looking anywhere else seems like a destiny toward a heroine overdose.
the "so what?" option: a damn lie.  living a lie is even harder than crying the tears of truth.
the "use it" option: painful.  as good as it sounds, who has ever found joy in being used?  feeling used is typically a declaration of having been manipulated and taken advantage of.
so on the options come and so on the options go; the futility of options is nonstop.
sleep could not come because the tears were nonstop.
tears kept coming and the thoughts were nonstop.
thoughts hit me hard; their truth was nonstop.

what's in a boo

i'm between corinne bailey rae's "trouble sleeping" and kenny latimore's "for you."
you might think i would have learned by now after the pb dibacle of 2010 that i shouldn't fall, but i'm a smitten kitten.
he didn't have to do much either, just tell me that he doesn't believe in divorce reminding me of what i once believed and say that children mean you stay together reminding me of the beautiful emanuel wedding.
i can't say that i'm head over feet, but i can say that i'm well on my way.
$%&#!

a greater love

it is newer and nicer.
it is my strength, yet i didn't embrace it.
it is straightforward, yet so hard to grasp.
it is here, now it's my turn to experience it.
i wanted it all for myself, yet knew its power was farther than just me.
i wanted to give it away, but its sweetness made me selfish for it.
i thought i wasn't worthy of it.
i will fight the enemy of it to my death...