the "shutdown" option: useless. a five year shutdown led to a single day solution. a six year shutdown led to no solution at all.
the "wide open" option: as terminal as a few holes in the chest. as bullet after bullet after searing bullet pierce through, you regret not having worn a bulletproof vest.
the "look elsewhere" option: exhausted. looking anywhere else seems like a destiny toward a heroine overdose.
the "so what?" option: a damn lie. living a lie is even harder than crying the tears of truth.
the "use it" option: painful. as good as it sounds, who has ever found joy in being used? feeling used is typically a declaration of having been manipulated and taken advantage of.
so on the options come and so on the options go; the futility of options is nonstop.
sleep could not come because the tears were nonstop.
tears kept coming and the thoughts were nonstop.
thoughts hit me hard; their truth was nonstop.
