Hindsight Cumming 2 Mind

Success, as defined by others, is no success at all.
When I was in the 8th grade, I was president of the Honor's Society. Quite the accolade. It came with the privelege of making the 8th grade graduation speech. When it was time to write the speech, I couldn't have been more excited! "Finally, a platform!" I thought. Unfortunately, my English teacher, Ms. Cogan thought differently. See, although I had excellent grades in her class, when I showed her my draft of the graduation speech, she looked down on it with disdain. I couldn't understand why. It was after all set to the rythm of Coolio's 'Gangsta's Paradise,' one of the hottest songs out at that time. The content was thorough too. Noooooo, she would rather have one of her favorite writers from her classes write the graduation speech and have me read/say/deliver it for the graduation ceremonies. HUH??? I thought it was I who was in the position to make a speech.
How was I expected to make a speech that I didn't write?
Why wasn't I allowed to write my own speech?
Finally, why didn't the speech writer deliver her own speech?? If the writer had delivered the speech, I wouldn't mind at all sitting down for the entire graduation ceremony... in fact, give me any seat in the house at that point!
In any case, I put those thoughts out of my head and went with the flow. I mused on the implications, but thought 'whatever.' The speech was about some tapestry (which, btw, I've never seen a tapestry before in my whole life... i'm more of a patchwork quilt kind of lady).
but...
I submitted to the powers that be.
I delivered the tapestry speech, written largely by Melissa and Ms. Cogan.
Then, I kept it movin, never putting the Coolio version out of my mind.

your game

pastor d explained to us that the passage in revelations about being neither hot nor cold and being spit out really refers to whatever you do. be hot, be healing. be cold, be refreshing.

be at the top of your game.

forget 'post-racial', remember rodney king

Never really swallowed the post-racial america kool-aid, but sipped on whether the sentiment could persist for just long enough...

And then, the New Year--
Unarmed, Handcuffed Oakland African American Man Shot and Killed by Police at Start of the 2009 New Year

Tried to wrap my head around it. Tried to think that one had nothing to do with the other. Tried to think of such gross negligence/harsh aggression/blatant violence consistently on the part of the police toward any other race of people. Even after those tries, thought the victim could actually be a reported victim, and any criminal background reports held off until the family had a chance to mourn.

Rest in peace, Mr. Oscar Grant III

see the rainbow

it was sunday morning. headed down the 101, i was tired and really feinding for caffeine. it was rainy. i picked up ms. shirley and we went to the coffee shop.
"do you see that?"
"what?"
"the rainbow."
"where?"
"right there," i arced my finger.
"no."
"looook, red, orange, purple..."
"there it is, that's right, how'd you see that?"
"i don't know, it's right there."

i corinthians 13

the love scripture...
how many people, when they use the word "love," mean this --
*****
my feelings toward you are characterized by patience and kindness.
my feelings for you release my pride, jealousy and any rudeness.
in my love for you i'll never find joy in the wrong things, and my love will not be eroded or irritated. the rejoicing in my love will focus only on what's right and true; my love does not demand on my way...
my love keeps no record of wrongs, always hopes and never ceases to have faith.
my love perseveres and has a forever endurance.
it will last and last...
*****
whoa.
love is not commonplace.
it's certainly not for the faint of heart.
do we even love ourselves?

invertigo

so there's this roller coaster at the Great America theme park called invertigo. One set of people goes forward as the other set goes backward. Some people laugh, some scream and cry. Some feel refreshed after, others sick. it's easily one of the best roller coasters i've ever been on...
in life, it's the same story, but far from the best. when in the course of 10 days there are a birthday, a wedding, an historic election and 2 funerals (3 if i were to count the passing of President-elect Obama's grandmother); when i feel on the job, again, that one can succeed without the other receding; when the economy's got more twists and turns than the super-duper-looper, but hey Americans are paying less for gas...
what's up with the bittersweet?
what's to be made of the suicide of a shining star?
RIP Mentor and Friend, my prayers are with your family, see you in the casket tomorrow
Congratulations Brother, she's a beautiful bride
RIP Uncle, I'm so sorry Aunty and Cousin
Congratulations on the election, so sorry your Grandmother missed it by a day
Happy Birthday Daddy
i love life, i really do... but at some points, the paradoxes and conundrums just get so overwhelming that I don't know up from down or whether to laugh or cry.
how did God know to give us both?

Obamanos